Dr. Cynthia Barnett

The Dream to Help Another

Dr. Cynthia — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 10:30:29 +0000

No matter what you choose to call it, helping another person is one of the highest achievements of human life. One of the values of Baby Boomers that appears in almost every survey of their goals or aspirations or values is the desire to help others. Call it altruism, if you wish, many call it simple human kindness.

Some have believed that the impulse for kindness to one another is carried in our genetic composition. Some have believed it is not part of our nature, but instead something we must learn and cultivate in order to rise above a baser nature.

Whether inborn or learned, kindness, giving, caring for and helping others is a belief — a sentiment — that can change a life, a community, and the world.

“We cannot exist without mutual help. All therefore that need aid have a right to ask it from their fellow men; and no one who has the power of granting can refuse it without guilt.” — Sir Walter Scott

Listen to my new podcasts on how to Dream Big and Live Happy. Mark your calenders for the upcoming Dream Big Live Big retreat on November 5 & 6th to jump start 2011 www.dreambiglivebigevent.com

Dreams are Opportunities Waiting for Action

Dr. Cynthia — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 10:30:29 +0000

Dreams are thoughts of a new future that have the power to make us stop and consider them. In this way, they can be seen as opportunities waiting for us to take action. Often, however, we are too consumed with living out the requirements of the moment to stop and consider the beauty of what could be.

From time to time, life offers us opportunities to seize the moment and start following a path that will lead to the fulfillment of our dreams. These opportunities are rare, and should not be ignored. If the dream is worthy, we should watch for the opportunity to follow our dreams.

When the opportunity comes to pursue a dream, consider carefully your decision to follow or ignore the opportunity. You might need to be ready to act on a moment’s notice.

Never give up on a dream. Watch for the opportunity to pursue it. In fact, you should ask if that opportunity is before you at this moment. Dreams deferred too long can wither in the sun.

“The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.” — Benjamin Disraeli

Listen to my new podcasts on how to Dream Big and Live Happy. Mark your calenders for the upcoming Dream Big Live Big retreat on November 5 & 6th to jump start 2011 www.dreambiglivebigevent.com

Bring Back the Scapegoat!

Dr. Cynthia — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 10:30:54 +0000

Goats have a checkered role through human history. They once fulfilled a very important role in society. When psychology and psychiatry and sociology came of age, many societies decided they no longer needed the idea of a scapegoat. As a result, they also gave up the actual practice of using a scapegoat.

The practice of using a scapegoat goes back to biblical times. On a particular day each year, the people of the community would all write down their sins attach them to a chosen goat and drive the goat out into the desert. While this was certainly not a desirable role for the goat, it served a very important function for the society. When the sins and evils of the society were driven away, people were able to come together in a spirit of forgiveness and gratitude. Guilt, doubt, fear, hostility and anger could be addressed and healed and the society could move into the future with a clean slate.

With or without a scapegoat, it is important to make peace with the past, to forgive and to seek forgiveness and healing. Until we can move beyond the past we are carrying a crippling burden as we try to achieve our dreams.

“He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.” — Confucius

If you need help moving beyond the past, call me. I can help.

Listen to my new podcasts on how to Dream Big and Live Happy. Mark your calenders for the upcoming Dream Big Live Big retreat on November 5 & 6th to jump start 2011 www.dreambiglivebigevent.com

What Are Your Values?

Dr. Cynthia — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 10:30:09 +0000

A recent study by ComingofAge.com of Baby Boomers found that the following values are most important to the generation:

Autonomy and self sufficiency (independence/participation)
Social connectedness (relationships/friendships)
Altruism (opportunity to share wisdom and ability to do for others: family, community and country)
Personal growth (gain knowledge)
Revitalization (need to rejuvenate)

This is a good match to what I am hearing most from people I work with who want to achieve their dreams. These are certainly powerful values.

I’m working on something new that is based on the values shared by the Baby Boomer generation. I’d like to hear back from you. Is this a comprehensive list of the values that motivate and guide your life? Is something missing? Is something wrong on the list?

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” — Robert Byrne

Listen to my new podcasts on how to Dream Big and Live Happy. Mark your calenders for the upcoming Dream Big Live Big retreat on November 5 & 6th to jump start 2011 www.dreambiglivebigevent.com

Now is the Time to Get the Skills You Need for your Next Career

Dr. Cynthia — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:00:01 +0000

It is likely to be a fact of life that Baby Boomers will need to work in some capacity beyond age 65. Hopefully we are enthusiastically embracing the fact that there is an entire new stage of living for us beyond that number.

Hundreds of thousands of us will decide to reinvent ourselves into a new career or a new way of living with purpose. Some of us will do what we always said we would do when we grew up. Some of us will dust off the old dreams that we have deferred so long and breathe life back into them. And many of us will need new skills or new specialized knowledge in order to do a competent job of whatever is next for us.

Now is the time to get the skills you need for your next career. First, no matter what your age when you are ready to move toward your dream for the next stage of your life, you probably will not want to start drawing Social Security or start taking money from your assets. If you acquire the skills and knowledge now, you will be ready to make a quick and easy transition into your new life.

Now is the time to get the skills you need for your next career because now you are more likely to have the money to pay for the training or additional education. Again, this can delay drawing Social Security or taking money from your savings or investments. The longer you wait the more you will draw each month!

Whatever dream defines the next stage of your life, I know the adventure will be wonderful and fulfilling. Just keep in mind that you need to plan for that adventure and prepare yourself with the skills and knowledge you will need to do it successfully.

“The opportunity of a lifetime is seldom so labeled.” — American Proverb

Listen to my new podcasts on how to Dream Big and Live Happy. Mark your calenders for the upcoming Dream Big Live Big retreat on November 5 & 6th to jump start 2011 www.dreambiglivebigevent.com

Doing It All – the Gift of a Longer Life

Dr. Cynthia — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 13:00:41 +0000

Do you remember when you were a young child and people asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up? Do you remember rattling off a list of occupations, much like a shopping list? The notable thing to me, as I think back, is that the conjunction in the list was not “or.” It was “and.”

Growing up in families where one or both of our parents spent their entire career in a single job, doing the same thing day after day, and never even leaving one company to go to work for a different company, we probably never realized how prophetic our words and our lists of jobs could be. Most of us have probably worked for at least two companies during our adult lives. Many of us have already changed careers at least once. A surprising number of us have also completely reinvented our working lives at least once.

One of the greatest things about the new world in which we are growing older and wiser is that we have unlimited opportunities. We can actually do more of the things on our list of what we wanted to do when we grew up. Or, we can find new ways to do what we already do well.

What I believe will be the memorable character of Baby Boomers after age 65 will be that we will still be doing – we will still be contributing to society in meaningful and important ways. Our lives after age 65 are likely to be anything but “retiring.” We will be active, we will be vital, and we will give back in powerful ways. Having opportunity for doing it all is the gift of a longer life and the culmination of who we are.

“When one door is shut, another opens.” — Miguel de Cervantes

Listen to my new podcasts on how to Dream Big and Live Happy. Mark your calenders for the upcoming Dream Big Live Big retreat on November 5 & 6th to jump start 2011 www.dreambiglivebigevent.com

Not Going Gently into Meaninglessness

Dr. Cynthia — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 13:00:17 +0000

If we listen to all of the journalists who are trying to paint a picture of what “retirement” will be like for the Baby Boomer generation, we could easily become depressed. If we really take seriously everything some of the commentators are saying, we must believe our future is going to be 30 years of meaninglessness.

Sometimes I wonder which generation these people are talking about. After all, we are the generation that would not settle for meaningless and unfulfilling work. So why would anybody think we are willing to settle for a meaningless retirement? What makes anyone think we even plan to retire?

What I hear is that Baby boomers are planning to work longer because they love what they do and because they find their work fulfilling. I hear from baby boomers planning to leave their current jobs and start a business turning a hobby into profits. I hear from boomers who want to go back to school and pursue the degree they always wanted. I hear from boomers who want to find work sharing their knowledge and experience with the next generation. I hear from boomers who want a subsistence wage doing something that helps others in a significant way.

What I hear, tells me baby boomers are not going gently into meaninglessness.

Tell me what you are planning for your future.

Tell me how you plan to make the next thirty years count.

“Man can only find meaning for his existence in something outside himself.” — Victor Frankl

Listen to my new podcasts on how to Dream Big and Live Happy. Mark your calenders for the upcoming Dream Big Live Big retreat on November 5 & 6th to jump start 2011 www.dreambiglivebigevent.com

Consider the slant on what you read

Dr. Cynthia — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 09:00:52 +0000

In case you missed it, there was an interesting article in the February 16, 2010 issue of U.S. News & World Report by Emily Brandon, entitled “10 Ways Baby Boomers will Reinvent Retirement.” It is a good article, and I hope you will read it, as well as some of the related articles to which the article includes internal links. There are some helpful insights and references to how we will cope with our very different needs.

This article is largely focused on the ways the Baby Boomer generation will “Re-invent retirement.” In most cases, we will have no choice but to re-invent retirement in the ways noted. These re-inventions of retirement all have more to do with how boomers will adapt to a different environment than that into which our parents retired. So necessity will be the mother of most of these reinventions, such as having no pension plans, needing to manage our money and investments, coping with being the “sandwich generation,” receiving less in social security support, and being in debt when we retire.

While these “re-inventions” will certainly be facts of life for Baby Boomers as we grow older, I think the tone of the article fails to recognize some very important characteristics of this generation.

First, boomers are the wealthiest generation in history.

Second, receiving less money from social security depends upon the age at retirement. If we work until age 70 or 72 (which the vast majority of us say we plan to do), we will receive more money.

Third, needing to work two extra years to recover what our retirement accounts lost in the recent economic crisis is, again, not a problem, because we don’t want to stop working at age 65.

Finally, the Boomer generation is not just defined by our financial situation. We will respond to the necessities we are faced with, and we will respond in ways that are both effective and that make us happy.

Boomers are a generation that has been learning how to respond when life hands us lemons. We have learned how to make spectacular lemonade!

I would like to hear from you. Tell me what you think.

Are you sitting in a chair with a handful or lemons? Or are you making lemonade?

If you are making lemonade, what recipe are you using?

“It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined.” — Henry James

Listen to my new podcasts on how to Dream Big and Live Happy. Mark your calenders for the upcoming Dream Big Live Big retreat on November 5 & 6th to jump start 2011 www.dreambiglivebigevent.com

Overcome with Laughter

Dr. Cynthia — Wed, 12 May 2010 12:00:27 +0000

How often do you laugh in each day? As you are beginning to see a few wrinkles appearing on your face, are they laugh lines or scowl creases?

Laughter is good for us, according to several medical studies. Laughter has been demonstrated to reduce pain, relieve stress, restores hope, lowers blood pressure and is easily transmitted to others. Have you ever seen an argument come to an immediate halt when someone starts laughing or says something funny?

Our world is a difficult place to be living for many people. We are dealing with an economy that is struggling to turn around, with wars and rising violence, and with prices rising much faster than our raises in income. We can sit and feel sorry for ourselves and worry or we can learn to find humor in life and face the world with hope.

The next time you begin to feel overwhelmed or stressed out or frightened or in pain, find something to laugh about. Whether it is the antics of a child or a pet, a silly movie or television program, or even something totally inane, learn to laugh. Laughing helps us gather ourselves to cope with the bad times and heighten the joy of the good times.

If you can’t find anything else to laugh about, try laughing at yourself. Try to see yourself as others might see you over the course of the day. I can almost guarantee you will find a source of laughter.

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs, jolted by every pebble in the road.”
– Henry Ward Beecher

Check out our upcoming Dream Big Live Big Event where you can really start putting your dreams into action www.dreambiglivebigevent.com

Moving Beyond Mistakes

Dr. Cynthia — Wed, 05 May 2010 12:00:35 +0000

I don’t know or know of any human being who has not made mistakes. Some of us think we make more than others; some think we make less. Mistakes are simply a fact of life. Like failure, the question is not if it happens – the question that matters is what we do with it. We can allow our mistakes to be teaching or learning moments or we can dwell upon them and become paralyzed by fear and doubt.

No one likes to admit that she or he is not perfect. I don’t know where the notion came from that allowed people to think they are perfect. I’ve found nothing in the writings and teachings of any religion or philosophy that argues that people are intended to be perfect. Until we can recognize our fallibility and learn to handle mistakes with grace, we will never learn.

You can move beyond your mistakes by recognizing them, learning from them, relegating them to the past and moving forward with hope and confidence. This is the path that will lead you to fulfilling your dreams.

Tell us how you moved on after a mistake.

“Anyone who never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
– Albert Einstein